Respect

One definition of respect is “a sense of worth or excellence of a person.”  Respect is one of the foundation stones of establishing a successful marriage.  When a young couple marries they each need to have a sense of worth and a sense of excellence for their spouse.  This feeling translates into actions of love and kindness.

It is a blessing to watch couples who respect one another.  The husband opens the car door for his wife.  He speaks of her good traits and her accomplishments.  The wife praises her husband and supports him.  Even when they look at each other there is approval and love.

In contrast, it is sad and heart-wrenching to watch couples who do not have respect for one another.  They speak unkindly to each other in loud, angry voices.  They belittle one another in front of others.  They are unable to see the good in each other.  They have very little toleration for the imperfections of each other.  These actions cause spouses to suffer and can cause a marriage to end.

In order to keep a marriage strong, spouses must respect one another.  This can also bless their family.   As children see respectful interactions between their parents they can learn respect for their parents, their siblings, and for their future spouses.  

Traveling with Repentance and Forgiveness

In the “Family Proclamation” forgiveness follows repentance in the list of successful marriage and family principles.  We all prefer a smooth marriage and family rail journey, so when we hurt others it is essential to make amends.   When we repent and make amends we want others to forgive us.  We prefer that the forgiveness happens fast so that the incident can be forgotten and we can be “done” with our repentance. 

Those who repent and those who forgive must exercise patience and forbearance with each other.  Often those who have been wronged can be resistant to forgiveness, especially when they have been deeply hurt.  Just as it takes more time for a deep cut with stitches to heal than a paper cut, a person who has been deeply wounded will need more time to heal and forgive. 

As we journey, we find that we are never “done” with repentance or forgiveness.  We will continue to make mistakes.  Our fellow travelers will do the same.  Therefore, we will all continue to need repentance and forgiveness.  Repentance and forgiveness will need to travel with us for our entire lifetime!

"Speedily Repent"

One of the principles listed in the “Family Proclamation” is repentance.  Repentance is essential for everyone who is on the marriage and family rail journey.  When we are married and part of a family, it is especially easy to make mistakes because we are close to each other—riding in the same train car and sitting in seats next to each other.  Because of this closeness, we not only see the mistakes of family members, but we see the mistakes with a magnifying glass.   

Because we all make mistakes on a regular basis, we need to learn to “speedily repent, yea, very speedily.” (D&C 136:35)  We need to learn to say “I’m sorry” and to try to make amends when we offend others.  As we try to repent and make things right, others will be less inclined to use the magnifying glass and be more tolerant of our mistakes.  Certainly we can all use less magnification of our mistakes!

Prayer Helps the Journey

Prayer is the second principle listed in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” that will help build “successful marriages and families.”  The Lord instructed the Nephites to “Pray in your families unto the Father, always in my name, that your wives and your children may be blessed.”  (3 Nephi 18:21)  We all want our families to be blessed.

Nephi was given the commandment to build a ship.  Nephi prayed often to the Lord for His direction on how to build it.   In answer to his prayers, the Lord showed Nephi how to build the ship.  Just as Nephi prayed to the Lord, parents must pray to the Lord and ask Him to help us build our families according to His will.     

Not only are parents commanded to pray for their families, but they have been commanded to “teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.” (D&C 68:28) Parents are responsible to teach their children to pray so that their children can know God and have the blessing of the His direction in their lives.

Prayer is a great blessing to spouses and children as they call upon the Lord for his help in their lives.   There is a great comfort that comes when you hear someone pray for you.  Whether a spouse or a child, it makes you feel loved and important.   Prayer will give marriages and families additional help to be successful.